Posted by: malcolmjamesjwells | 07/11/2014

Interview with the Bunny

Interview with the Bunny

I am not a religious person, but I feel that religious holidays have become so commercialized most people have lost sight of their origins. The shops have been selling Christmas fare since September. We won’t have swept away the debris of the holiday before Hot Cross Buns and Easter Eggs are on sale in the shops.

“Today we have the pleasure of speaking with Mr E Bunny from the Mythical Creatures Society. He is here to talk to us on the relevance of Easter in contemporary society:”

“Welcome Easter Bunny, perhaps you could tell our readers a bit about yourself.”

“Hey, everybody knows me, what can I tell you?”

“So how do you like your job?”

“What’s not to like, I only work for four days a year.”

“And what do you do for the rest of the year?”

“I do what a rabbit’s gotta do, if you know what I mean.”

“I have a fair idea, but what is your official role at Easter?”

“I just have to look cute and fluffy, hop around a bit hiding eggs here and there and generally make people smile. It’s what Easter’s all about isn’t it.”

“Actually it’s not.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s about the son of God. He was crucified to absolve the sins of mankind.”

“Jesus Christ!”

“That’s him.”

“That’s who?”

“Jesus Christ, the God’s son who died for us on the cross.”

“Wow, you are one twisted son-of-a-bitch; where did that come from? Way to put a downer on a fun holiday.”

“I’m just telling you the true reason for the holiday. The purpose for the Easter holiday is to take time to remember that Jesus was crucified on a cross on Good Friday. He was interred in a tomb and then rose to join his father in heaven.”

“If the man was tortured to death then what sick puppy would call it Good Friday?”

“Well…. “

“And if he wasn’t actually dead what were they thinking shoving him into a tomb?”

“Well he was dead, but…”

“Hey, I’ve heard enough of your warped story man. I’m warning you not to try and kill Easter buddy, I’ve got a bloody big family to feed and I need this gig. If you’ve got to put shit on a popular holiday then rubbish Christmas instead. That Santa’s an old dude anyway, he can’t last much longer.”

“Actually, Christmas is about Jesus too, it’s when we celebrate his birthday. He was born to the Virgin Mary in a stable…”

“Whoa there, man you have a serious problem I think I know a bit about reproduction, and virgins do not have babies. Besides, if this dude was so important how come he was born in a stable? I don’t know where you get this fairy tale but you need to lighten up and enjoy yourself more. I suggest you get some professional help.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m leaving, interview over.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m getting out of here before you try and tell me my mate the tooth fairy is a serial killer.”

 

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